My life so far as a Substitute

Last week I began the journey of substitute teaching in Chicago Public Schools. I am a certified teacher and I earned my certification through the Chicago Teaching Fellows program. I was hoping to get a job based on the promises of the need for teachers in CPS. With the state of the economy as it is there were a lot of job cuts in CPS, and alas I have no teaching job along with the many others in the Sub pool.
After finding out my fate, I had a flash flood of the many times I had a substitute teacher over the years, and the many times that I had told myself, "I would never be a sub". I was nervous for my first day, but had some confidence that my experience working with youth in urban areas would pay off.
As a substitute you are told that as of day one you need to wake up at 5am and expect to be called by 6am. I woke up ready to go at 5am, 5am passed, then 6am, and by 6:30 I passed out in my bed with my mind made up that I would not be given a position this day.
8am I am awoken by the vibrations of my phone on my nightstand and I think, there is no way. Yes, there is a way, I was called to fill a sub position on the far SW side of Chicago. I almost declined it, but considering it was my first day subbing I didn't want to get a bad wrap...so I went. Now it is good to know that CPS starts at roughly 8:30, and that I currently live 45min-1hour NW of Chicago. I left immediately without information from the sub center on what grade or position I was filling.
I finally show up, after sitting through traffic (chugging a homemade green tea latte), and they quickly rush me down the hall to pick up my class (school had already started, obviously). Out files about 15 children who looked to be about 12 years old, and that was later confirmed to be true. The woman who ushered me to these children told me to bring them to room 312..(312? I think, I don't even know if I can find my way to the stairs in this place). As she starts to turn to leave I raise my voice to ask, "Can you tell me if their are any lesson plans for these students?", to which she responds, "Oh, yeaa...I think I can find you something...oh by the way...this class is LDBD (learning/behavior disorders...mostly behavior)". Ook
I quickly ask one of the students to lead us up to the class. We get up there and only a few moments later the woman from the office drops off a folder that read sub folder, hmmm. This folder contained a bunch of single copies of random worksheets, which means it would not be useful to me at all. I get the students to settle into their seats while I quickly try to rack my brain as to what I will do with these students. I decide to go with a get-to-know-you exercise, and it went seemingly ok, considering the students were unable to write or draw the basic boxes that I was trying to have them draw. Pretty quickly after this the students began to show their true colors. I let one student go to the bathroom and told them it would have to be one at a time. Another student immediately insisted that she needed to go to the bathroom and made it seem like if I didn't let her go there would be an accident. With all the other students beginning to instigate negative behavior, I just let her go....I didn't plan to clean up anything on top of keeping the boys in the back from fighting, and the boy in the front from running around the class room attempting to escape. Minutes after these two students were gone a third student demanded she go to the bathroom, and after I said no she said, "I Hate white people"...whattt.
This is about the time I knew everything was about to come falling down on me. There were moments that I had some control, but overall it was just mass chaos. During recess one boy took out his belt and whipped another boy in the back with the metal part of his belt...I took that belt after recess and I don't know if the boy has gotten it back yet. The boy who was the victim of the whipping made it his mission to get revenge on the other boy. It was my mission to not allow this to happen, and just so you know these kids were not small, and I am not very big. I have wished several times that I was a large African American man, because my life would be a lot easier, and people would respect me. Alas, I remain a runty white girl. Irish-Spanish-Mexican actually...
This is getting way too long for discussing a situation I don't even want to be thinking about. I will make it short by listing out a preview of how the day panned out.
-Students escaping through a secret door in the classroom closet, while other students point and yell, "I just saw (s. name) running through the hall out there" whattttt
-A student using his "computer time" inappropriately...I ended that computer time quickly
-A student from another class walking into our room only to throw sharp pencils at me and the students...whattttt
-and so on, use your imagination
I left feeling completely defeated, on the verge of a mental breakdown, and ready to quit...for good
Day 1 of substitution, I decided I would give it at least a week

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